(To Quote a Barry Manilow Song) It's Just Another New Year's Eve

Okay when it comes to being sentimental- I run hot & cold. I don’t know if that’s good or bad- but it is what it is.

When I was younger, I would spend New Year’s Eve with my in-laws. Kind, loving people and before my father in law passed away, it was what WE did. Spend New Year’s Eve with them.  My mother in law, Gloria, would cook for days, well, it seemed like days when you would take a look at the spread displayed  on the table in their home.

<hmmmm, side note: Whenever Boberts & I have people over, I feel I have to have  a huge spread - (of food, heh heh) to make sure our “family”, aka invited guests, have enough choices…just in case they are picky or hungry (or both)…I learned that from Gloria- make everyone happy>

...anyhoo- as I was (ah)sayin'…..

I was always amazed at how much food there was, but she was a pro at cooking & doing everything quickly, so maybe it was just a day.  They would have friends & neighbors stop by for tamales and good cheer. Well, really, can you have anything else but good cheer? We’re talking homemade tamales - - homemade rice & beans, a dish that she called “stuffado”, which was shredded roast beef, made into small beef patties held together with egg & I don’t know what else in a tomato based sauce…it was really good(that’s saying a lot because I am not a fan of beef), roasted green chili peppers- it may have been jalapenos- it’s been so long, sometimes she’d have fried chicken and, oh yeah, Posole - ever have posole?

It's a soup made with pork, and hominy & broth. She'd also have Menudo - ever have menudo? Um... I’d tell you what the ingredients are, but it would make ME sick! I will say it takes hours to cook (or the main ingredient  is really- did I say really, I mean  extremely tough and *in my opinion* really, REALLY gross), the ingredients are, well, okay, I  have no words to describe what it is- excuse me while I hurl)….needless to say - although I find  myself doing exactly that – saying that I AM NOT A FAN OF MENUDO- (heh, I knew this guy - I won’t embarrass him by telling you his name, because we are still friends – yes, friends since West High school days- would call it “menoodles”…he was so cute, goofy but cute!)

***Um…..Digressing***

Gloria, my mother in-law, would also have desserts of all kinds, and liquor!

LOTS of liquor. That was before I appreciated a good wine - -

or vodka. (Have I told you vodka is my friend? 'tis true)

During the New Year’s Eve festivities,  Gloria would mingle with each and every guest and at some point in the evening (one of my most favorite memories), Gloria & my father-in-law, Bill Aguilar (who was pretty famous in his own right here in the valley, as he was the one that started broadcasting live sports events in Español) would dance. They danced beautifully together. Everyone would stop and watch as they slid effortlessly on the make shift dance floor.

< OOOH- yet another side note- Adderall hasn’t kicked in yet- I can’t help it- just go with it- okay?....Wanna hear about what a small world in which we live? YAY- I’m telling you anyway - - Bill Aguilar, (Bob’s dad) actually knew my family BEFORE Bob & I were specks of anything in our respective parents lives.  Bill Aguilar danced with my family, yes, yes, shocker & extremely difficult to believe, but  I come from a family of dancers, in fact, my grandma & aunt opened the Orpheum Theatre when it opened the first time back  1929.>

So, as I was  saying, watching Bill & Gloria dance was a sight to see. They were so very much in love and when they danced, you could see just how much love they shared….dancing, after all, is the universal language of the love. (I just made that up... I don’t know what it is, but dancing is a way and has a way of expression, so let’s just go with that).

Throughout the evening, everyone was happy & laughing and eating and dancing and visiting and just, really enjoying each other.  As we prepared to say good bye to the year and celebrate the coming of a New Year, Gloria would pass out individual bowls of 12 red grapes WITH seeds. Part of the tradition - and I haven’t seen this anywhere else, well, it’s not like I travel, but I haven’t heard about this anywhere else – is to....exactly at midnight, eat all 12 grapes , one grape for each month, within 60 seconds. This should bring you good luck for the New Year.  It was fun watching everyone struggle –well,  I can only imagine that everyone else was struggling. There were giggles & down right wonderful guffaws.   In my mind, as I was struggling to move the seeds around my mouth using my tongue, I would think everyone else was having difficulty too, and THAT would make me  laugh, causing me to lose the contents in my mouth, which was okay because the  crunch of the grape skin would give me osco*….but I dunno… some peeps may be better tongue movers than others.

*osco: a word from my childhood meaning yucky, sick, gross..etc..

I think as I get older, I appreciate more & more the experiences I was fortunate to experience.
Bill Aguilar passed away in 1987.  Gloria has lived without her husband, the love of her life, for longer than she was married to him.  They married on November 20, the same anniversary that Boberts & I have.  At the time, we thought that it would be a compliment (as such) to share a wedding anniversary with them. Every year that passes now, since my father in law passed away, I feel sadness for Gloria. Sadness because it's just another reminder of how she lives on - without her hubby... and guilty because Bob & I still have each other to celebrate another year of wedded bliss (REALLY! WE ARE HAPPY!! lol).  I am grateful that I got to know Mr. Aguilar, his time on this earth was way too short.  I feel for my mother in law and honestly… I think about how strong she was to continue to wake up every day, knowing Bill isn’t going to come through the door with some silly joke to make her laugh (something - although I tease - Bob does the same thing and truth be told, it’s funny that he is so goofy).

Wow this turned out to be not at all what I intended- I guess  just go with the flow type thang….huh?

NEW YEAR…

New beginning…another day to start getting busy with what we want our lives to be.
We have choices…let’s make a choice to be kind, be loving and be all we are suppose to be.

Happy New Year and May 2014 Be YOUR Year. Your Year for kindness, abundance, good health & happiness.

Did Hell Freeze Over? But on the plus side…

So, Maggie, Vee & I went to see Star this weekend… Star, Estella Therese, is our friend that passed away last year. I’ve tried to see her a few times and even though I WAS POSITIVE I knew where she was/is buried, I gave in to the ‘slight possibility’ that PERHAPS I must be in a different area- because I didn’t see a headstone or even a marker. SO, we decided to go to the office to see what we could see (is there a song that used that phrase?) Anyhoo - - -A very nice man, with a very funny personality, was the lucky person chosen to assist us in our quest to locate several loved ones. Mags found hers, Vee found hers, I found my grandma (well, actually, turned out it wasn’t her, as my grandma is buried at another cemetery- boy is MY face red…) AND we found Star….with no headstone & no marker. WTH?? How can that be? I know - I know – I KNOW (!), we are not supposed to judge BUT it’s been a year and a half since Star crossed over. I’m not gonna lie, this upset me. 

After Mags makes a couple of calls, we find out that in honor of Stars’ birthday, which is December 17^th, St. Gregory’s evening Mass is intended for our friend. OH NO! A Catholic Mass – IN A CHURCH—egad! What a quandary for me (background scoop for y’all: I have a very, very strong aversion to Catholic Mass- traumatized as a child- long story – won’t… okay CAN’T elaborate). What to do- what to do…

Okay, it is for my friend. I HAVE to go, right?  Let me tell you that the last time I set foot in a church was, indeed for Star’s funeral… I am certain she is laughing her ass off in Heaven. (STAR?? Really funny girl!! I know you can hear me.. I hope you are having a great laugh!)

Yes, Bob and I did go to the Mass. During this very special service (I like to sit in back so I can sneak out)- well, sitting towards the back just made it more difficult because there was this child, a baby really, that evidently has never heard the words ‘sit down or shhhhh’ because this child was running and screaming and running & screaming and running & screaming through the entire service.(I will say that when my kids were young, I had more patience, but my kids also never were allowed to disrupt or be wild lunatics in a place where it is expected to be peaceful,but I digress). The mother, (I assume she was the mother) just sat there.    I lean over to Bob and commented that this lady is just wrong to allow her child to be disruptive. Bob (& Mags) state that, ironically the service is on how we shouldn’t judge- FUNNY STAR!!! REALLY FRICKIN’ FUNNY! 

Maggie & Bob are, of course, getting a chuckle – at my expense – but….that’s okay. I was in a church, I figure of ALL places, this is where I shall be forgiven… lol

I don’t know what the solution should be  - - If I had money, I would happily pay to have a headstone for my lifelong (and beyond) friend. NOBODY should be laid to rest without a way for loved ones to come and sit & visit.  It’s just disrespectful. I am NOT judging, I am merely stating my opinion.

Star doesn’t have a marker or headstone….and this is upsetting to me. As Maggie’s other half, Bill Keenley, says you don’t treat our dearly departed in this manner. For whatever reason – there HAS TO be some reason- a reason for which I am not privy (again NOT judging).

Happy Birthday, Star, I miss you every day.

BUT on the plus side… I wasn’t wrong… (did you ever doubt that?)… I knew exactly where Star is buried, sans marker and headstone, I know where Star is.... she is always in my heart! 

Big Boat - Big Butt - November 15, 2005 - My Second Birthday

I have a story….I’ll be the first to say that if a story is too long- I can’t read it (A.D.D.) so if you're one of those peeps too, I TOTALLY understand… IF you choose to read this - -Sit back, put your reading glasses on (get the old folks joke?- -yep, I crack myself up)- It’s long…really long.

November 15, 2005….I’d like to say this story starts there but it actually is where a better life began.

Let me back track….please? Can I back track?? 

All my life I struggled with weight…as I look back, I wasn't any different than my friends until an incident happened when I was 9 years old and I started gaining weight…A LOT of weight. I gained sooo much weight that even though I was large- I became invisible….I was the subject of ridicule from people I didn't know (and didn't know me) and also by people I worked with…people that should know better- -people that – I now know aren't worth a damn.

When I worked at (as a friend of mine would say) the little nickel & dime radio show, I had a great opportunity to express myself creatively- as I ALWAYS loved to make people laugh… I figured if I could get them to laugh WITH me- they wouldn't be laughing AT me. About this time the people I worked with were just getting ready to do a cooking show- if you're from the valley- you may know of what & whom I speak … but anyhoo - - -

It was a really popular ‘COOKIN’ Show and we had a two year wait for tickets to the show. In addition to being assistant producer, I was studio warm-up…which means I would entertain the audience and get them revved up to show excitement and be happy during the taping of the show, so when the camera panned over to the audience, they would be having fun. It was fun- and I LOVED IT!  Performing in front of people is something you get a taste of and become addicted to it. I loved to entertain the audience and the guest Chefs.

During this time I befriended a man named Patrick. Patrick was kind and very sweet… he also was quite large. I always would spend more time chatting with him because, as I mentioned earlier, when you’re quite large, people judge you for being ‘fat’…people say such ugly, nasty things.  Sometimes they didn't have to say anything- the look they give you says it all. I knew how he felt; I knew he felt invisible, I knew exactly what he was feeling. I would sit and chat with him and he would call the station just to say hello. I really liked him.

After many attempts to lose weight, I gave up. I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. I was so overweight I couldn't walk to the restroom without being in great pain. I started thinking about having gastric bypass surgery. Bob, my hubby, was dead set against it- but I had to do something..… It was me that was experiencing pain. I prayed and prayed and prayed…and after several months of just thinking about it I decided to give it to God. I asked for a sign that this was in my best interest.

<Side note> I hadn't heard from Patrick in quite a few months… I wondered where he was because he called regularly.

After a particularly horrible pity party for myself, I again asked God to send me a sign….I want the surgery and I want to be healthy.

That morning I was at work, screening calls and doing my radio work when I received a call from a female that asked to speak to “a Lisa that works at the (radio) station.” I said “ this is Lisa”.. She asked, “The Lisa that works  on the cooking show?” I said; “yes, who is this? What can I do for you?” She said that she just wanted to call and say thank you (to me) for being so kind to her brother. He would talk about me and say how kind I was to him…I asked who her brother was and she said Patrick. I was excited and asked where he had been because I haven’t heard from him in months. She started crying and said that he passed away a few days ago.   I was shocked and asked what happened. Her words- verbatim- “he passed away from complications he had from gastric bypass surgery he had SIX months ago…”
(OMG! I felt shivers and was in total shock)- After my condolences, I explained to her that just  this morning, I was asking God for a sign about having that very surgery.  She pleaded with me NOT to have it…. I had to agree… THAT was my sign.

 

Me and Boberts - Before gastric bypass.

A more recent picture with two lifelong friends,
Deborah & Virginia & me.

Years had passed since that phone call,  I miss Patrick, he was a very kind soul and I thank him for sending his sister to warn me.

Working at the 'little nickel & dime radio station’ I got to meet a lot of people, I guess that being on a popular show people felt they had a voice in what you should/shouldn’t do…. I say that because I was a bit annoyed- but, if you believe in God, you know everything is for a reason. I received a phone call from Scottsdale Bariatric- saying that they'd like for me to come in for a consultation about having gastric bypass surgery. WTH? I figured I must be disgustingly overweight because THEY were calling ME….lol

I politely declined.

A few weeks later- I received another call…after several more calls from them, I just told them NO!- I wasn't interested. The person, very kindly stated, that they were just going to keep on calling until I agreed to come in for "just a consultation"…..They were very persistent. She said that my Dr. was concerned and I should at least just chat with them - -only THEN they'd leave me alone. I never knew people cared so much about me or who actually was behind this.

I made an appointment, told Bob about it (for which he said “absolutely no way you’re  having the surgery”.  You don’t know me, but I HATE being told what I can/can’t do, but secretly, I knew I did not want the surgery. Thinking of my friend, Patrick, I didn't want to die)….

The day arrives when I am supposed to meet the Dr. As I am walking down this incredibly long hallway, I  am crying out of fear, the pain in my knees and God knows why else ( I was a basket case). As I am walking, I encounter this really kind gentleman. He stopped me and said- You’re going to Scottsdale Bariatric, right? (I’m thinking – well, gee Einstein, I’m as big as a boat, it’s the only thing on this floor, nope, I’m going swim suit shopping...)- But I say, through my tears, yes.. I’m so scared.  He told me not to be. He lost 150 pounds in 6 months and still losing. His name was Terry and he told me that I will be okay- not to be frightened. He gave me his number and said I could call him. He hugged me and I felt a sense of calmness come through me. As I waddled down the rest of the hallway to the Doctors office, I felt a little more at ease- but still very, very scared.

After meeting with Dr. Robin Blackstone, I KNEW this is what I needed to do. I was concerned because- at that time insurance didn't cover this surgery.  You also had to jump (figuratively speaking- I NEVER JUMP!!-lol) through hoops before they'd consider you for surgery. THE MOST REPUTABLE places make sure you can handle it. Medical tests, psychological tests- classes…blah- blah- blah…. People have to wait MONTHS, sometimes years before they are cleared for surgery.

As I mentioned earlier, when you have God working on your side- he can move any obstacle.

From the day I left that office- to the day I had the surgery, it was TWO WEEKS! TWO WEEKS!!!

Everything lined up perfectly that I had no time to think… IT WAS A DONE DEAL.

November 15, 2005. I had the surgery and the nurse that assisted Dr. Blackstone is Melissa Monahan Davis. These two amazing people saved my life! Through classes and support - from not only my family - but Melissa, I was able to lose 184 pounds. I would meet with Melissa and after a couple of weeks I relayed the story to her about Terry. I wanted to call him and thank him for speaking to me but I misplaced his number. She gave me this puzzled look…went out – I assume to find his number—came back and told me they have no Terry as a patient…..It was weird. I am certain that was his name… I am even more certain that TERRY was an angel…. I DO BELIEVE! 

Speaking of how God can remove any obstacle…the surgery didn't cost me a cent! Insurance took care of it all!!!

Anyhoo… November 15, my second birth date…to Dr. Blackstone & Melissa, I owe you my life. YOU gave me back my life- I am eternally grateful. THANK YOU for everything!!

(I also want to add that even at my heaviest, Boberts- (Robert Aguilar) was always there…he never saw me as Jabba the Hut- which is how I pictured myself…he just loved me for me. Boberts…THANK YOU!!)

It’s been eight years since I had the surgery.  I can honestly say, had I not had all the Angels (on earth and  elsewhere) helping me, I wouldn't be here today. Eight years. Eight years of feeling what it feels like to be a “normal’ size. You have no idea how great it feels (to me) to fit in a booth at a restaurant. How it feels to walk and not feel as if you are being made fun of for your size.  How it feels to put your shoes on without breaking into a sweat - to take care of your most basic needs, to fly and not have to get a seat extension…to have seat belts in your own car fit….to not be humiliated when the owner of a restaurant brings you a more sturdy chair for you to sit on - so you don't break the smaller one...to just feel worthy of love…it’s an awesome feeling.

So, It’s been 8 years that I started my new life. I call it my second birthday because on November 15, 2005, I took the first step that really was a new way of  life for me. I've gained back (only) 20 pounds in those eight years, but I’m okay with that. I’m not invisible anymore. I believe your body knows where you’re supposed to be. I look at it like this; from where I started, 20 pounds is nothing. I am healthier, happier and finding my way in a new career.

Life is good…

Lucky Girl Am I To Have Such Kind Peeps In MY World

SO!!...

My hubby came up stairs and started speaking to me in a tone that scared me. Yep, generally /usually Boberts is just a smart ass…kind hearted, but a smart ass. In fact, we joke that I wish I could find the “off button” on him because he always  has a smart ass remark or something silly to say. Boberts  always makes me laugh…but I digress…

Bob sits me down and says to me that he knows I feel that not many people care for me, (yeah, I don’t really want to get into THAT right now) but  that I should just take a step back and open a package that he received for me.

In my last blog entry I lamented about my youngest daughter moving to  ‘frickin’ Colorado’.   I was – still am - very sad(wait- I only used one  ‘very’, I should've used two - -so,  I am VERY, VERY SAD) over this move, I can’t even speak to her because it hurts so much.  I received many messages from family, close friends and some not so close friends telling me that it’ll be okay (honestly, I don’t know what they mean by  “it’ll”, but hopefully they’re right).   I received some texts & phone calls expressing concern,  some with empathy and some telling me to get over it –well, ONE  telling me to get over it (I realize they -the mean person- is entitled to his opinion- but he could've kept his mouth shut....should've kept his mouth shut- because all he did was piss me off. (You know who you are & it’s no secret because I told you it pissed me off, you, btw don’t even have kids so I have no use for your mean words)….crud- I digress - - A G A I N …

….Through all these incredible kind sentiments from people that actually took the time to let me know how they feel  -  that they, too, have been through it,  the pain lessens and that they are thinking and praying for me.  I must admit - now that Boberts has brought it to my attention -  I am incredibly blessed  to have so very many good people in my life….people – family & friends- that reached out to me & touched my heart. You are so kind! I thank you from the bottom of my butt (it's bigger than my heart).

One friend, I won’t embarrass her by telling you her name, actually  bought the DVD  FINDING NEMO  and had it delivered to me via, my hubby….(this is the package mentioned above)… YOU brought tears to my eyes with your very kind gesture. I won’t  mention her name but C…thank you- I thank you & F so much for thinking of me.

That is the most kind thing you could’ve done. Now, I’ll watch it, cry about Nemo, I mean Ari, and know that someone, a friend actually took the time to make me feel the love.

I am, I can’t deny it, an incredibly lucky girl to have so many wonderful people in my life!

Thank you!! Thank you!! Thank you!!!

FINDING NEMO? FINDING ARI!!

One of the most difficult things  about being a mom isn’t the childbirth, isn’t teething or the fevers from all the shots.  Isn’t the terrible two’s (which was NOTHING compared to when they grew a mouth!! lol), isn’t the incessant bickering, taunting & teasing….isn’t the sleepless nights waiting for them to come home after getting their driver’s license- or the dates with the boys/girls – oh no - no  - no….

I think the hardest thing creeps  up on you - -it comes at you  just when you think  life has settle into something (you can call) some semblance of normal – well, normal for you.  It’s when your child, now an adult,  decides they want to move - - out of frickin’ state- - - - to frickin’ Colorado….(not that I am bitter- -lol )

Being a mom (a parent) is a wonderful gift --- being a mom has given me more joy than anything I could have ever hoped for in my entire life.  Being a mom has provided me with more joy, more amusement (face it kids are funny), more merriment and so much love that my heart could burst.  Being a mom, is by far, the best thing I could ever have hoped for - for MY life. My life =  my kids.  Boberts and I are fortunate that we were given the opportunity to raise three wonderfully comical, wacky, intelligent, awesome kids. They make me laugh, they make me cry. They make me crazy and yes, occasionally they make me so mad I could knock a couple of pegs  out of whatever it is for which you knock out pegs.

BUT- I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

There’s this movie that, for the longest time I just didn’t get. Bob would tell you it’s his favorite because it reminds him of the kids…. I must be missing ‘that chip’ that gives you ‘feelings’ when watching a cartoon movie.

Finding Nemo is about a dad fish looking for his son fish (voiced by Ellen DeGeneres) that got lost somehow…. I don’t really remember the whole thing, just bits and pieces of it… but I get it now…. It’s portrays the real struggles we as parents deal with when ‘letting go’ of our kids. I’m not kidding- it hurts.

A LOT!

We couldn’t possibly warn our kids about EVERYTHING without giving them some kind of complex or worse. I want to believe that we raised our kids to know right from wrong - to hope they listened to our words and will follow our example (well, hopefully not ALL our examples). They may not see the potential dangers we see looking through our fifty huh-huh years…living  in the big city,  maybe  we were too overly protective and maybe THAT is harmful….. I dunno…. I hope not.  .but then again- maybe they see things we don’t.

I have stated - ad nauseam - that all I want is for my kids to be happy. THAT is true…but really, my heart is breaking. Watching my baby pack her things and move out of  frickin’ state- to frickin’ Colorado (no less), is  D-E-V-A-S-T-A-T-I-N-G!

Telling her no, she can’t go isn’t something I could do. She is, after all, an adult…and I would never want to hear the words ‘I HATE YOU’ uttered from the mouth of any of my kids.  I remember THAT from that little movie. Ouch- hearing Nemo tell his dad he hated him hurt…it made MY heart hurt - and it was only a movie…and a fish…and fish don’t really talk… ;-)

I guess we have to believe that we can’t prevent everything…we can only hope we prepared our kids for this world-  (and frickin’ Colorado)!

I do have faith in Ari that she is every bit the grown up she says she is and we, Bob & I and yes, of course, God have given her the all the tools to become all that she is capable of being. 

I NOW ‘get’ what Bob was talking about… I’ll have to re-watch the movie- 

after Ari has pulled out of the driveway. 

Sunrise- Sunset- Stupid Song!

I have probably more than a dozen of ideas that I started writing- none of which  “felt” right. I was forcing emotion and it just didn't feel right…. I don’t know if it’s something  others feel, but if it’s not right- it’s not ‘write’ (correct!) for me…I have so much on my mind that I am not at all sure where this is going….so let me preface this by saying – please take this in the spirit intended.

I am so very sad. - -So monumentally- uber sad am I.

Putting things in correct context....

I know people, family even, that have lost a child. Now I can’t say I know what that feels like, I  pray to God that I NEVER have to feel that kind of pain. All I can say is I am not trying to compare my sadness to the sadness anyone else may feel when faced with horrific pain. 

The only difference is this….

 - -this is MY heart ache.

Now, I feel you may be asking- wth is she so sad about? - Well, okay.. I’ll tell you- but remember- you asked (well, in MY mind you asked, otherwise I feel self-absorbed and even more filled with sadness.

Du’oh!

Today, I made dinner for my family.  It isn’t out of the ordinary for my kids to come around for dinner, what is slightly out of the ordinary (besides the fact that I actually cooked) is they are at dinner at the same time.  Well, my husband, Boberts, actually spoke to the kids and planned to have them come for dinner….without me catching on (duh! News flash.. I didn’t catch on).

As we’re eating dinner, it dawned on me - like I was smacked with a brick….. THIS is the last time our family will be together as a family for dinner. It was just the five of us.  I KNOW there will be other times when we’ll be together- but this was one of those times when you know there is no going back. Things are different. It’s never the same.  

Sunrise- Sunset.- THAT stupid song ALWAYS makes me cry and when it hit me that things will never be the same that friggin’ song came to mind and I just started crying.  WTH??

Okay for some of you who may not possess a sensitivity chip, let me just tell you-- don’t judge!

I guess I should tell you why I am so sad…. I forgot that bit if info…

My youngest daughter is moving out…and not just “moving out”- I’ve been through that before with my other two kids. Billy, our son moved out first and has been out for a few years. Meghan moved out about a year or so ago. It hurt, but it was time. They have their own lives and are both with their significant other, Rebekah & Shaun, respectfully. I, btw, adore them. It’s nice to see them so very happy.

They have picked wonderfully generous, kind & loving mates.

Ariana, our youngest baby (no matter how old our kids get, to me(!) they are ALWAYS my babies).

Ari is moving ...

 - out of state -  

to Colorado… to friggin' COLORADO!  

Just writing that brings tears to my eyes.

My heart is broken.

My family has been desert dwellers for generations. We are native Phoenicians through & through.  I can’t, in all honesty, say that I never wanted to leave here…but our lives, as they’ve been, have dictated to us to stay…stay in the Valley of the Sun. I never thought my youngest child would be the one to find her way - away from family. Yes, she’s with her boyfriend Jake, and yes, he’s a good guy…but COLORADO?!

I feel silly. I feel silly because as I write this, I am writing through blurred vision as the tears just keep running down my face. I feel the heat of the salty tears burning my cheeks.  I KNOW…….. I know that this is her decision. I know she needs to live HER life, not the life I want her to live. Although having said THAT- I do want her - and all my kids - to live happy lives. I just want them here. Is that selfish? Don’t answer that- I know it is.

Ya know how things happen for a reason? WEIRD! Just today, I made reference to a colleague about the song Sunrise, Sunset.  Although the reference really was to the  beautiful sunrise & the  beautiful sunsets here in Arizona……

Sunrise- Sunset♪♪♪

I don’t remember getting older - - when did they??

♫♫♪♪ Sunrise, sunset

Sunrise, sunset

Swiftly fly the years

One season following another

Laden with happiness and tears ♫♫♫♪♪♪

<SIGH> 

Time does fly… STUPID SONG!!

I’ll be fine.

Saturday we’re having our family over for a going away dinner for Ari…I’ll feign happiness and put on a happy face so my family won’t see the heaviness in my heart. I don’t want Ari to feel badly for moving-  IT    IS   HER   LIFE!  She needs to find her own North Star. Honestly, I am proud of her. I’m proud of all my kids. I feel Bob & I did something right in that they ARE following their own North Star. What more, as parents can we want for our kids?

It just hurts to let go.

It’ll be an adjustment; I already have SKYPE up and ready to go.

♪♫Wasn't it yesterday

When they were small?♪♫

STUPID SONG!

March Madness…..Silly me….

I was under the impression that March – besides being the beginning of Spring and Spring cleaning was a time where you get to go shopping - - for new clothes & SANDALS.  I love sandals….wait...I'm having a moment. 

Okay....wait....

Now.... when I hear ads about MARCH MADNESS I had visions of Coach strappy sandals, and any flat sandals that wouldn’t make me look (& feel)like an amazon woman. Don’t laugh. I feel way too tall with even the smallest of heels. …and besides feeling tall, I trip over air, so flats are always the shoes for me.

Turns out ALL THESE years, March Madness has nothing (well, next to nothing) to do with retail therapy…WTH??

MARCH MADNESS (according to Wikipedia ):
Events surrounding the single-elimination Division I college basketball tournaments performed each spring in the United States…blah-blah… I lost interest…

I STILL choose to believe that MARCH MADNESS is talking to ME… I hear you Coach Store… YES, I believe I will still be on the hunt for the perfect strappy sandal….who wants to join me in some retail therapy?

We can hit Starbucks and hit the shoe stores….

March Madnes...gotta love it!!

Another Bites The Dust? What's That REALLY Mean?

Today is another day where my hubby and I attend another wedding (of a friend of one of our kids).

THESE kids – whom we've known since just after uteri-  (and) we count as one of our own. Greg Lindsay, ever the personable, handsome & charismatic soul, approached my husband & I when he was only 5 years old: “Hello Mr. & Mrs. Aguilar, I’m Greg Lindsay, William’s best friend”.  I should point out that this was the first day of kindergarten for both of the boys. It’s true, they've been best buds since that day 20 plus years ago.

As I reflect on the years gone by, I can’t help but be a bit nostalgic about what has transpired all these years. They've gone through Kindergarten & worked their way through Middle School, High School & College. Have they changed? Well, I wouldn't be truthful if I said no. Trends come & go, they find other friends they may have more in common with, but when it comes down to it, lifelong friends are, well, lifelong. Greg & William have this bond that will always be there. The first day of kindergarten, all those years ago…..

Greg will be married today to a beautiful girl named Michelle. I’m excited for their new life together.

My son? My son has a wonderful woman in his life as well. Rebekah has shown that when you

love the world, you become a catalyst for change. She has so much love in her heart… I love that!!

Will they spend the rest of their life together? I dunno…it’s not for me to decide…nor is it my decision for my girls, Meghan & Ariana to spend their lives with their awesome guys (Shaun & Jake, respectively). They all have found kind, decent partners. I wish for all of my kids, wherever their individual roads take them, that they are respectful, loved & happy. What more can we hope for our kids when facing this world??

Greg & Michelle, Enjoy your special day….

To my kids, Meg, Will, Ree, Shaun, Rebekah & Jake…

Whatever your paths - - may you seek fulfillment and happiness…..and always be in love!!!

Who Knew The Original Ewok Was My 8th Grade Teacher

Miss Schmucker's Kindergarten Class

I went to Kenilworth grade school. I am a proud alumni of Kenilworth Elementary School. Kenilworth is now in the historic area of downtown Phoenix. Let me tell you what I THINK is awesome: my dad also went to Kenilworth. For the first couple years, we (my brothers and I) had a few of the same teachers that taught my dad. I have a lot of  stories about Kenilworth….my first experience was my kindergarten teacher, who was, well, how do I say this respectfully??- Oh... ya can’t- or I choose not to sugar coat it- SHE WAS OLD!—and her name was  Miss SCHMUCKER. That’s right….give kids their very first teacher  a name that you know they won’t be able to pronounce correctly- if ya know what I mean….rhymes with….trucker….

I was telling Boberts the other day that I remember having our towels at school (brought from home) for which we used to take naps. And a memory - of a little glimpse - into how the rest of my life would be. Miss Schmucker (rhymes with… tee hee…) had drawn an octagon shape, on it, the  word STOP. We were suppose to color it, because- well, RED MEANS STOP. What did I do? I colored my stop sign BLUE… Bob says he thinks it’s because I was a rebel at an early age.. I have no comment.

I just cracked myself up…

Miss Digney, cat eye glasses. First Grade

First grade, Miss Digney…had the cat eye glasses and wore the old 50’s type dresses that Beaver Cleaver’s mother would wear on Leave It To Beaver.  Our class window was always open because- back then- there wasn’t air conditioning. **Vivid memory**… the  smell of orange blossoms…to this day, whenever I smell orange blossoms, I am immediately transported back to Miss Digney’s class room where she’d yell at me for hanging out the window to  get a better whiff… lol… I’m not telling stories here- that lady could yell….made me cry on more than several occasions. 

Miss MacKenzie. I loved to sing, but hated  going to this class

So many great stories about/from Kenilworth.  The choir teacher always made me cry too ( No, this ISN'T a pattern- I wasn't necessarily a cry baby). I swear she was some kind of yeller in the military…Miss MacKenzie- she yelled at me and I forgot my name- evil wicked  B!  lol  AND - -I had an 8^th grade teacher whom I swear is the original ewok.  BOY  WAS SHE MEAN!!! 

Carnivals, white elephant sales, oh so very much fun. As fond as the many memories I have of Kenilworth, what I feel THE MOST thankful for are the friendships I made. TO THIS day, most of my friends  from grade school are my closest, dearest friends. Kenilworth had quite a few students that went on to be pretty prominent people  in our community and in our country. I won’t name drop, but I will share this…. The people that came from Kenilworth, are the best bunch of people I have had the pleasure to have grown up with…. great people, great friends, great memories...yes, I am truly blessed.

Spring Training & Little League---- Is There A Correlation?

Well, if you’re asking me, I have to say….I dunno. I frequently hear my hubby and BFF talking about Spring Training....so when I came across info for 'on this date' (Feb 20) that today is the birthday of +Carl Stotz - American founder of Little League Baseball... I thought.....huh? (Really, I said to myself, out loud, "HUH?").  Yep, I surprised myself that I actually gave more than a fleeting thought to three words: Little League Baseball.

I really could care less about it but what caught my attention (as seems to be the way my brain works)

is this: Little League is baseball. Baseball is boring. Boring I would be if ever I joined the hubby & BFF for Spring Training. Hey it’s the Dudes’ birthday today…..Huh?

Evidently without Mr. Stotz - the little boys that play baseball wouldn't have any clue what they're doing. That’s not entirely true. They probably wouldn’t have an organized type league, as they know it, had it not been for Carl Stotz.  

As far as Spring Training….well, my hubby, +Robert Aguilar and +Maggie Leach, my BFF & Bob’s ‘sports wife’* can go knock themselves out...they do that in baseball, right? Maybe that's football or boxing- I dunno.  Little League Baseball & Spring Training, keeps the boys & my BFF busy and out of trouble.

At any rate, Happy Birthday to Carl Stotz!

  

*Sports wife: a friend that puts up with all the sports crap so I don’t have to.

Sports – Sports- and um, Yep - - - I Suck At Sports

Let me just state that: I’m not fishing for compliments- I never do, I say that because what I have to write about will make it seem as if I am looking for reassurance. Reassurance that I don’t suck. I suck- I suck - I suck.  I know I suck - and what  I am writing about is the absolute truth. Yep, skating, skipping, running(ouch!), any field sports-swimming.... fuggetaboutit! 

Seriously.  Lemme tell ya a few stories about my life as a jock…. Wait - -

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA –

I couldn't contain myself - -using MY LIFE in the same sentence with AS A JOCK--

WAIT.. BAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Okay THAT is temporarily out of my system.

wait.. bahahahaha... NOW it's out of my system.

Okay…it started in grade school. Ya know when you’re standing with all your friends and every single one of your friends is picked for ANY sport before you??  Oh, they’d fight over me---but it was usually- “you take her- no- you take her- NO! YOU(!)  TAKE(!) her(!)”….Yep- even for a game of RED ROVER, Red Rover, send ANYONE but Lisa right over….sadly, I was always the last picked.

My youth was pretty darn fantastic, in spite of my lack of athletic ability. 

In spite of my inability to play ANY type of sport well, we still managed to have a softball team. Back then, it wasn't an official school district approved thing to have girls play sports ( it was only a few years prior to that  the school FINALLY allowed girls where pants to school- but that’s another story), anyhoo- I believe this was at a time when my daddy wanted to be more involved in the life of his only daughter, he agreed to be the coach of the girls softball team….it was THE ONLY WAY I would ever get a chance to play.  We had to make our own uniforms…denim cutoffs and white t-shirts we SPRAY PAINTED our names on the back of each shirt…pretty high tech stuff for back then. **GRIN** I remember having the shirts flat on the cement in our back yard using stencils and spray paint **

We practiced in the evenings and got a list of other teams (to play) from other schools in the district. My dad would drive us all IN THE BACK OF HIS TRUCK and we’d play- poorly. Never won except for one time when my Aunt Carrie (my dad’s sister) promised everyone  ice cream sundaes if we won. We did win,  and my aunt was nowhere to be found. My parents - and I think with the  help of some other parents - were able to allow us to enjoy sundaes.

Any way, my dad, always one to be fair, put me in right field. THE BALL NEVER GOES OUT TO RIGHT FIELD…except for when Lisa is out there. The ball comes towards me and I put my hand in front of my face so I wouldn’t get hit and it lands IN MY GLOVE. Scared the hell out of me! I was so incredibly shocked that I had no idea what to do with the ball. I don’t remember anything else. That was the end of my softball career.

SWIMMING- HA! I thought I found something I could excel at. Winning ribbon - after ribbon- after ribbon. Yep, I was part of the elite, yes(!) a full fledged member of the TERRACE CLUB swimming team. I LOVED the Terrace Club. (Had so much fun and a budding relationship with Jerry Bowlin- whatever happened to him-) I digress. Where was I?? Oh yeah - SWIMMING. I had a huge head- I was, after all a really great swimmer. It wasn’t until, really - - not too long ago when my mother gave me all the ribbons she had been saving for me  for when I was old enough to appreciate all the awards I won as a child. BOY did I have a rude awakening. ALL THESE years I thought I was a hot SH!T swimmer. After all, I swam at the Terrace Club. So sad…  I open up the  box my mom had saved all these years…you know, Blue for first place, red for second…etc… somewhere along the way, I was grossly misinformed. They were all- ALL  “PARTICIPANT” ribbons. OH- how very sad.  You know the ribbons they give you so you don’t feel badly about not placing…..oh!

Skateboarding? Oh you know….very first time on a skateboard and I dislocate my shoulder. That would be the first of 15 shoulder dislocations.

Roller skating? OH- why bother going into detail… lol

Yes, indeed- I suck at all sports…

So, please share with me…At what do you excel? Do you have stories of your youth? Doesn't have to be sports....after all we all exceed at SOMETHING - - right???

I hope so...soon I will find my talent - - I am sure of it!!!

Hard To Be Kind When I Am So Very, Very Angry At Rex Reed

 

I may have some strong words to say here - and it has to do with people that think THEY are perfect. People that think because someone is overweight it is okay to call them horrible names. 

I am speaking of the film critic Rex Reed. Mr. Reed –I ONLY call him “Mr.” because the name that comes to MY mind isn’t printable -- has been described as ‘one of the most prolific movie critics in the country’.  WHY? I don’t know as I am not a movie critic, but, I guess it takes a lot of talent to watch a film and give an opinion (she writes ever so sarcastically). Mr. Reed has written entertainment columns for The New York Observer.

(A side note: The New York Observer should OBSERVE the fact that their film critic is an ass!)

Reed had the nerve to call Melissa McCarthy horrible names because she may be a few pounds overweight. Reed’s description: a tractor-sized, a humongous creep, and a hippo had nothing to do with Melissa's acting.

Rex Reed may have all the qualifications to be a film critic…. he should then critique THE FILM not give his opinion on the personal appearance of- by all accounts- a wonderfully kind, and extremely talented actress.

I don’t know a heck of a lot about Mr. Reed, I gather by everything I read about him he is a gay man. I have no problem with that…but if he is, I would think that he has experienced hate from other people for his sexual orientation. Have you, Mr. Reed not experienced hate from people who don’t understand being gay is not a choice?  What do you call them?

Maybe because he has been around for decades, he feels it’s okay to call talented actresses names. Maybe, just maybe he is jealous of her talent…. I don’t really give a rats ass what his reasons are, I feel he is rude, incredibly insensitive and quite frankly a big dumb jerk~!

I am writing because I get so majorly ticked off when someone - who is way too big for their britches -dumps on someone that has done nothing to them. Melissa has shown nothing but class and Mr. Reed has shown nothing but his ass!

People who have never had a weight problem don’t understand the pain an overweight person endures EVERY SINGLE DAY. It’s not as if it’s news to them that they are overweight. Most people that have weight problems beat themselves up daily, they don’t need a pompous jerk to remind them they are seen by some self-righteous a-hole as less than human.   If it were easy to lose the weight, they would!  We would all be the same size. Sometimes there are extreme medical problems, sometimes it’s genetics, sometimes people are just predisposed to being just the way they are. We are still human - with feelings - and we don’t need some idiot to call us names. It’s childish, ridiculous, uncalled for and just mean!

Mr. Reed looks as if he has never had a weight problem…that’s a good thing for him, because if he had a weight problem, if he were gay, if he was showing his negative side (as he has with his rude comments) boy, what kind a hate magnet for people that need no reason to hate would he be?

THINK ABOUT THAT Mr. Reed. Film Critic you may be…..decent? Nope, not by a long shot!

SHAME ON YOU!

Chatting With My Mom

I noticed the other day when I was chatting with me dear old mom that my parents are, well crazy – but in a good way.

My mom: friendly, chatty & lately chats  a lot about her life growing up. Her parents, my grandparents, passed away at an early age. I vaguely remember them…but I can remember the day they passed away like it was yesterday. Well, I remember when my grandma died. My grandpa – in order to save us from having memories of him leaving this earth requested we not be there. I remember very few things about them. Although I am told that I resemble my grandma quite a bit…..seems besides some physical features, we have a bit of spunk  in our personalities in common as well. I’m good with that.   - BUT back to my parents….

My mom has been going through boxes that belonged to her mom…boxes of memories & mementos. Mom gave me a letter that her mother wrote to her in 1966. In the letter written half in English & half in Spanish tells my mom about some recipes she thinks she should make. A letter from a mom to her daughter passing on tips on how to cook.  Mom gave me the letter &  recipes…not gonna lie- it as pretty tasty. I noticed that the way these dishes were made is similar to how my mom has cooked all these years.

My Dad….LOVE my daddy!! I remember growing up and because he was always working in his workshop, he had pencils everywhere. Old pencils, before mechanical pencils were even invented, he had the old, old pencils. They were always sharpened, but never did I see a pencil sharpener. Oh no, my dad would whittle the pencil sharpened. I remember him standing near a trash can with his carpet knife sharpening his pencil. Well after the time it was affordable to have a pencil sharpener at home (remember the kind you hung on the wall- had them in school- LONNNG before individual pencil sharpeners were available) he’d still use his trusty  carpet knife. I bring this up because when I was chatting with my mom, I was sitting at the table where my dad usually sits. I picked up a pencil (I am smiling thinking of this) and it is sharpened to a nice sharp point with wood  or shave marks on it. Yep, my dad, still whittles his pencils sharpened.

I notice the older I get, the more I notice that old habits die hard – or maybe it’s just that I find the little things my parents do just so darn adorable.

My mom will be 79 in a few weeks…my dad will be 82 a few weeks after that. Where has the time gone? I know I am blessed to have both of my parents… I only hope that I can bring them as much joy in their –as my mother calls it- “sunset years” as they have given me my whole life. My parents… I love them so very much.

Tell me, please, what things do you remember about your parents? Things they’d say? Dishes they’d cook? Things they’d wear? Favorite line or curse word? (ya don’t have to spell the whole word)…

Been A While, Sometimes My Words Take A Different Path

Well, It’s been a heck of a lo-n-n-g time since I’ve ‘blogged’. I own the fact that I really wasn’t in a ‘happy place’.  Somewhere along the line I allowed my sadness to get the best of me -AND not to bemoan that I felt my life was crappy…..but- - -well, IT WAS. Well, actually my career (or lack of) was, quite frankly, a crapfest!

Well, let me see….I actually started writing about something else, but I have to go with what is in my head AT THIS MOMENT. Which is- (heh-heh-heh) something that makes me giggle. I am watching THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA. It’s the movie with Meryl Streep – who btw is an excellent actress – and Anne Hathaway (I love her too). It’s about a power hungry, narcissistic (capital) B. without a heart.  I’m not gonna lie…it made me think of someone.

I actually started writing a screenplay about my life as a morning radio show producer and ALL that happens behind the scenes. Yep- smacks  of THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA-ish… It was great therapy for me.

I learned that kind (& good) should win and sometimes the devil gets her way but only for a while and sometimes it takes time to see Karma work. I’d be remiss if I didn’t state that most of the people I worked with aren’t included -in any way- in my ‘words to share’… I loved my colleagues…and I miss them dearly….there is only, as in the movie, one devil - - and it is only the devil that should get all it deserves.

I am almost to the point where I can forgive…NEVER FORGET… but forgive. I have a great new job. I am working with two wonderfully kind, decent, funny, caring people with no egos. It’s a brand new position and I am the first to hold this special position. I intend to grow and make it something really special.

Is there a lesson?  YES….Our job does not define us as a person. The people who really matter are the ones that KNOW you, listen to you, care about you and will be part of your life when you have nothing to offer them- other than what REALLY matters; love, kindness, friendship & laughter ( I am very, very fortunate that all the peeps in my life love me for who I am, which admittedly, is just painfully goofy).

OH..if ya wanna know what the title of my screenplay is- message me….I’m ALWAYS happy to share.

Blessings,

Lisa